Dear Jesus Roberto:
I know that your mom or Jenny keep you updated on my father's condition, but I just wanted to give you a little update.
Last night Lalo, Carlitos and myself, moved Pops to the biggest room at my mom's house, and he liked it.
The other room was all too small. We use the Hoyer Lift, to pick him up from the bed, as you probably know, he is more fragile now. Sometimes we worry when he refuses to eat or take any meds, but then his will comes around and asks for anybody that is not there in the house, and then asks for food or drink or ice cream and we feel a little better. But its like this nurse Dina, a very nice lady that sees Pops two or three times a week, that, with patients that have the same condition, (Multiple Myeloma), depending on how advanced the cancer is, the patient will loose the appetite gradually, because the internal organs start to shut down, and we should know or learn how to read these signs in order to prepare ourselves for the outcome, you know what I mean?
Of course, is not easy, and every time that he seems sad and is very quiet, we just can't accept it, and we all insist on him to take some morphine pills for the pain, or to eat a little something, but the Nurse Dina says, that we should not push him to do something or anything that he just doesn't want or feel like doing. She says, that we are doing that just to comfort ourselves, unconsciously we are trying to make ourselves feel better about him. Is all normal, and very natural, we're only humans. But we need to realize that if he's in pain and wants to let go, we should tell him so. It's okay to let go, if that is the only way to feel relaxed and to rest.
It's so hard. I am trying to be strong, and so far I think I've been handling right. You know, I've seen Mom, your mom, Norma, Blanca and Lalo crying openly, and I haven't, but I don't know how, or for how long I can hold myself up.
Anyways, I'm sorry for this long gripe here, I just wanted to say something to you, since we don't see each other often.
Hoping that your entire family is in good health, and hoping to see you soon.
Your Uncle Miguel.
P.S. Take good care of yourself, your children need you.
Thank You for your e-mailings, keep them coming!
Las letras que aquí plasmo, no las escribo para ser criticado, ni busco una calificación por parte de nadie. Sólo escribo para mí. Escribo por escribir. Aunque la crítica puede ser constructiva, a veces lleva el intento de desapruebo, de incitar un cambio y de confirmarse a los ideales de el que critica, y no necesariamente como un aliciente. Este medium es más que un confidente, es una forma de desahogo.
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